Not Fasting? 5 Ways to Avoid the Condescending Queries - By Anisa Khandwalla
We’ve all been there with pangs of hunger coursing through our body or needing the sweet taste of water to cool our throats, but society around you thinks you’re fasting because it’s Ramadan. Sure, taking a swig from a bottle of water is fine and all, but is it worth the gasps from Muslims and non-Muslims alike as they cut their judgy eyes toward you, shocked that you would dare not fast?*
So why aren’t you fasting? It could range from pregnancy, being sick, Auntie Flow paying you a visit, or other completely normal things.
That’s why I’m here, to give you some tricks of the trade so we can protect the masses from your hangry self.
- Car as a Camouflage
If you’re getting food from a drive-thru or such, just park in their parking lot and eat there. They have great trays you can attach to your steering wheel that I saw on Amazon if you want to feel like you’re doing some fine dining.
If you’re at school or work, dash off to your car for a ‘nap,’ and have a quick lunch break in your car instead.
Be sure to have some napkins, body and car spray, mints, and hand sanitizer stashed somewhere in the confines of your automobile. It’s good practice to at least not smell like you’ve been stuffing your face in your vehicle.
I’ve done this and actually got a double take from someone next to me, with an open-mouthed look of confusion. This is rare, as everyone is minding their own business in the comfort of their car, but it’s still a great idea!
- The Flatter the Better
Have you ever been at work and just felt absolutely parched, but there are way too many people around you and you don’t want to draw attention to yourself? I’ve got a life hack for you.
Some stores sell water bottles that can be flattened and folded and are next to undetectable. This is mainly used for camping, I presume, or Coachella, but this is definitely going to come in handy when you’re not fasting.
Fill up a foldable bottle with some water, tuck it up your sleeve, and casually cover a yawn as you hydrate.
This is a win-win scenario - you’ll feel like an absolute boss being all sly and your body will thank you as it gets some much needed water.
I do recommend you try this at home first before you’re out in public so as not to make a complete mess of yourself.
Don’t believe me? Google it!
- Not Just Monsters Under the Bed
This one is pretty ingenious - especially in some ‘stricter’ households.
Growing up, my dad always knew when I wasn’t fasting since I wouldn’t come down for suhoor (the meal before sunrise to prepare). I’d have to hide my breakfasts and snacks and water breaks from my brothers, though.
So, what did that mean? Lots of sneaking around which sometimes resorted to hiding under beds and stashing food and water bottles there. It meant waiting for them to go to the restroom or some other part of the house before quickly filling my glass at the fridge. It meant trying to oh so quietly eat my food without crinkling noises of bags or crunching sounds. It meant muffling my footsteps to the kitchen in the middle of the day.
The girls of the house became pros at trying to be as inconspicuous as possible when the guys were home. And when they weren’t?
A free for all.
- The Secret Book
This one doesn’t just sound epic. It is epic.
Picture this: you are casually going about your day with a textbook or some other really gigantic novel like Two Novels and Nineteen Short Stories by F. Scott Fitzgerald in your hands. The people around you think you’re an intellectual.
Then, you get to your desk, or an empty hallway or room, and you open said book. Lo and behold: a carved compartment filled with contraband. Snacks - healthy or not, no judgement here, friend. A juice box. Some candy. A piece of gum. A whole roast turkey. Whatever floats your boat.
Nobody is the wiser, and you’ll feel like a spy hiding state secrets!
- As Nike Says, Just Do It
Here’s the thing, at the end of the day, people are going to say things about you and to you all day long. You don’t need to explain yourself to anyone but Allah (SWT). So you let that non-fasting flag fly, and take that huge gulp of water and bite of burger. Let people think what they want.
You could be super petty and wear a sign that says Shark Week or Eating for Two or Sicko Mode to stave off Sheikh Judgy.
As long as you have valid reasons, go ahead wave that fry in front of their face and say, “Sorry, I’m busy eating, can we chat later?”
*This is all in good fun. You do you, boo!
Oh and in case you didn’t think I was being serious: Here are the links below to find those helpful items to make Ramadan with Auntie Flow or whatever your reason, a little bit easier!
Note About the Author: Anisa Khandwalla is a Middle School Math Teacher with almost ten years of experience. She graduated from Texas A&M University, WHOOP! She loves to get lost in fictional worlds, find new adventures across the US, experience the minutiae of coffee shops, and loves to play around with fashion. This humble author is hilarious and brings smiles to her student's faces with her content everyday. Follow her on Instagram @creativeundertakings